give me a break.

Wake up.


"time?"

Got up.


Sitting
on the side of bed,
couldn't be more conscious at the moment
unknown.



stared at the window



"early in the morning?"
--well, not possible in recent days.

"probably at noon?"
--more likely that i could feel the sunshine through windows.

so the question was narrowed to whether
it's before 12
or not.


Not.
another guess.
I think i was right again.





Wake up


"morning?"


Got up.


Sitting
on the side of bed,
couldn't be more conscious at the moment
unknown.


stared at the ceiling





turned on the desk light

and it glared.


now the darkness was no longer invisible.



how long have i been here?


one more year.


so the remaning days...


one more month.


am i leaving here?


yes. i think i am.


where am i leaving for?


no idea.



No anxiety here.
I cannnot fall into sleep easily nowadays though.
But I am calm although i get lost.

i know
get lost
just a little bit
and it doesn't matter.


i am heading for a place where i have no idea about
but am supposed to be.


nonsense huh?
but sounded like something to do with
faith
?

But i just can't figure out
how it is possible that one could have something
called faith if he is not even sure about what is
inside it(the faith)?


But it is the current situation.


have faith in something not clear.


is always
always hard and unnecessary to be justified
speaking of the feeling stuff.


blind but not lost
(or this kind of lost doesn't matter)
because of the faith.

i am going to a place where i am supposed to be.


so what the hell is it?

no idea.


what?


come on.
Rick, give me a break.