My Big Early Greek Class

(Manufacturer System, every Tuesday and Thurday morning.
key words: big class, big disaster, big professor, big question mark....)

"Not even a single word since the class began."

Annie smiled when she saw the message from me.

5 minutes before the class dismissed, beside me, Annie asked me whether
i could understand the class. She said the speech was fine, but not those
on the board. i smiled, and wrote some words to her.

that was last Thursday....

i remembered it so clearly. So clear that i can even feel exactly what i felt there. there...during that class, classes - actually i could recall all of them.

all and the only thing i can do is sit there, sit bended, sit straight, sit with my crossed legs...looking at my watch and counting the time.

quite sad, isn't it?

sometimes, i do feel sad, but it's not a real sad feeling.

For no reason, or for some unknown reasons, i like this class although i never
catch the professor probably just like he never knows what my smile really means as he walked toward me with his waving hands up and down.


i won't fail since i like this class....



gotta go to have my lunch, or i will skip the Optimization ... again...

My First Skip and My first mid-term

(<- the class ...i skipped...three times...???XD)



(<- 9/25 in the library...
maybe i shouldn't skip classes QQ)








--------------------------------
Time: 9/16 2:05 p.m.
Event: no afternoon class today.
--------------------------------
i didnt have Deterministic Optimization on that day.
well...that's said ...i was supposed to be there.

anyway, i skipped the class for the very first time.
the Deterministic Optimization on Sep 16.

don't ask how i felt because it's hard to tell.

i mean, skipping class seems to be something so natrual to me
who had "countless" records in his undergraduate.

But it's the first time here so i think i need to take a note. XD

what a coincidence!!

that day is the 31th day right affter the semster started.

So maybe i should be proud of the 1-month-long presence record?

..................No

Maybe i shouldn't do that.
But the only thing i can do during that class is nothing but try to stay awake. It's not an exaggeration!!! At first, i thought it's about my language, but gradually realized actualy it's the class itself as well...

The professor goes unbelievably fast...

why nobody stops him!!!! India students!! what's wrong with you guys!!!
i need you to stop him!!!!!

so i skipped one class, and two classes, and three.....

professor please forgive me!! i didn't mean it...


----------------------------------------------
時間: 9/26 2:00 p.m.
事件: Deterministic Optimization 期中考
----------------------------------------------
這是我在喬治亞理工的第一個考試

是數學
--
晚上, Joseph問我, do you think you prepared it well?

這樣一個簡單的問題,卻有點答不上來. 我笑說: i don't know. it's the past anyway.

並沒有問過自己這樣的問題, 這幾天, 準備期中的這幾個晚上
- 其實也才三個晚上而已...


所以, 認真嗎?

嗯, 認真吧.


總感覺在這邊考試, 並不是為自己而已. 彷彿彷彿似乎似乎還代表了某種意義

i am from TAIWAN...


教授發了sample test, 類似歷年考題的東西
然後花了三個晚上, 得到了好多人的幫忙, 才勉強解完(有些還不懂)
雖然我平常多少也有看, 不過上課的進度真的是跑的太快了....


教授又是個很細心的人　
換言之　
good at making thinngs detailed, and complicated XD


三個晚上, 大多是在做題, 也不算是在讀書...

我想

準備這次考試的時候,　我想著
- "大陸人"(政大資科的那隻)真的不在了...我需要你的考前總整理啊！
- 大家都說當學生好, 我也知道當學生可能是幸福的, 可是考試還是有壓力
- 能有一件事情　一個目標　感覺很好

昨天晚上, 小葳來寢室, 一討論就是討論到兩點多(剛好是我和她平時睡覺時間的平均)
(12點和4點<--- 真是很超過！ＸＤ)
前天晚上, 喝了一點子維買的即溶麥克斯威爾, 四點才睡著　＝　＝
大前天晚上, 該死的supply chain project, 弄到三點　＝　＝凸

--
anyway, 無論如何, 一個禮拜總算是過去


考試時間五十分鐘, 在還剩下十八分鐘的時候寫完
(一開始的是非　有一半不確定啊)

希望可以考好



夜晚的校園, 十點多, 還挺美的... which 總讓我想起政大晚上的後山

Blue and Tired

(Sept. 18 in the campus)
the fall is coming...

9/18 (the 38th days in GA)
--
blue and tired as they said
they said i look always tired, and blue as well.
i don't know if there is any connection between the two - tired and blue.

well, i admit the tired one, but the blue one?

Maybe yes... very likely, it's just a thing i was not aware of before.

Being blue? Me? Here?
--
My explanation of why my eyes relecting a certain emptiness is always that
i didn't wear glasses. i told them as well as myself.

And why not wear glasses is another simple one - i feel tired
with it on my face consciously.

So it's about tired(?)

so it might be some connection between the two - tired and blue?
--

9/16 is Sam's birthday


a friend told me that i look blue on his birthday party last night.

oh! it's so bad, i know.
no! i mean i don't know.

I didn't mean to do that, which i even didn't know i was doing.

so bad.

For some reason either found nothing to do or just wanted some rest,
which i was not clear, i sat aside others with silence.

i didn't want to talk. i am really a silent man here.

So they said i'm blue.

but i was quite happy, and feel comfortable myself.(?)

i'm not blue, maybe a little, but just a little.
As a matter of fact, everybody has some blue parts, ok?

The fall is coming....or it's already there.

Moon Festival (with no moon)

(Barbecue in the backyard of our dorm )
-
"It's a time for families, friends, everybody to get together.
.....The way taiwanese celebrate it is having barbecue outside
because just watching moon is too boring.."
My ever explanation to foreigners...(well, i am foreign....here)
-
Rather than Taiwan with the typhoon strike,
the night in Atlanta is perfectly all right. However, we couldn't watch the moon which possibly hidden behind the surrounding dorm buildings. Maybe we should wait for it to climb higher.

it doesn't matter at all anyway,
--

One month passed, and i wonder how many still left....

--
not homesick yet...i'm just thinking that...

Everything is fine, right?

YA!!

Niyo, how come that your'e always late....

A thing periodic

The road to isolation seems to be inevitable.
so negative that it's not supposed to appear here.

But it's here as i see it.

The awareness and realization become much clearer than ever before.
And i find myself become wreck again, and this time even some fragile.

i know, everybody has fragile moment themselves.
i know, i'll recover either completely or incompletely in couple of days,
perhaps.

it's kind of a periodic thing.
periodically and occasionaly, i feel restless in rest.
A silent anxiety spreaded and prevailed from heart to skin, and then
i felt cold, so cold that i woke up in the midnight.

i shouldn't be this place where i'm supposed to be.

So where is it?

The attempt of discovering that unknown land has been endless in that
once i thought i found it, it just became unknown in the next second.

And i got lost again.

So lost
that i skipped my afternoon class for the first time yesterday,

and i couldn't remember any possible reason.

新鴛鴦蝴蝶夢

上禮拜六在某"酒家"吃飯時聽到這首歌後,
心想, 回家後一定要抓下來 :)　　
-
算算這應該是小五的歌曲吧(?) 十幾年前了
-
這首歌描繪出的意境　難以形容的好...(我無法形容)
好吧, 很有"古"味 .... 請原諒我的中文能力　= =
-
覺得是目前市面上的流行歌曲無法比較的.
-
方文山寫的當然也有水準, 可是總感覺那是為寫而寫.
而新鴛鴦蝴蝶夢裡的詞　可說是句句經典字字貼切啊.


新鴛鴦蝴蝶夢 - 黃安

昨日像那東流水　離我遠去不可留
今日亂我心　多煩憂
抽刀斷水水更流　舉杯消愁愁更愁
明朝清風四飄流

＃由來只有新人笑　有誰聽到舊人哭
愛情兩個字　好辛苦
是要問一個明白　還是要裝作糊塗
知多知少難知足

＋看似個鴛鴦蝴蝶　不應該的年代
可是誰又能擺脫人世間的悲哀
花花世界　鴛鴦蝴蝶　在人間已是癲
何苦要上青天　不如溫柔同眠


是要問一個明白　　還是要裝作糊塗
知多知少難知足

寫的真是太好了

報告，不是

"寫文章就像大便一樣，當感覺來的時候，沒有去做，就渾身不舒服。"

當兵的人講話有種特色，除了淺顯易懂，還能讓人會心一笑。
雖然這句話似乎並不是當兵時候的你告訴我的，
不是士官長時期的你告訴我的，
但也不重要了。



也不重要了，

時間這個東西。

--

一年

十一個月，不到一年，我曉得一年不長，卻沒想過它竟可以如此短。
我感覺自己的一年兩個月長多了，卻又無法解釋三個月的差距會有多大，
一年兩個月也不長，而三個月可以是很短
所以，我想，問題應該不在於這多出的近百天裡。
-
感覺十一個月短，或許只是單單因為，這不是自己的十一個月。
雖然每每回頭看，自己的十四個月也只是一眨眼的事情。
-
-
我不知道當時的你是不是有相同的感覺。
-
-
回頭看的時候，那種瞬間裡帶著瞬間，瞬間裡回憶著好多個瞬間的感覺。
我想你有，我想每個人都有。
-
-
宛如昨日
-
每個人都有宛如昨日的畫面
在西門町見到你是什麼時候，我不記得，
所以推算，然後我猜那應該是去年的冬季，十一月底的西門町不太冷。
-
不冷，可是你戴著帽子，而信似乎掉了鑰匙?
-
是嗎

是嗎? 我忘了。

我的記憶不好，
不用太久，光是昨日的事情，我就要想上好一段時間。
-

你知道，我記憶不好。



所以我記不起你帽底下的那顆頭。
-



我記憶不好，你知道。
-
於是我開始翻著昨日，在你稱為馬桶的地方，它曾經壞過幾次。
然而，昨日並不多，它們分散著。
記憶不好，想像卻差強人意，所以我想著，
想著可能空白的地方，然後竟可能的填滿。


很快的，它們連在了一起。


(怎麼會這麼快?)
-



快，我看到了十一個月，它果真不長，卻也足夠
對於構成一段記憶來說，已經足夠。



看到
十月底入伍的你，十二月底退伍的我。
-
剛入伍的你沒有什麼假期可放，而即將退伍的我在外的日子可能是裡面的雙倍在多些。
(你知道在軍中的我是如此的詭計多端)

然後，你告訴我，排長超大的。
-
在十一月底的時候，這樣的對話令人有點害羞，可是事實的確如此。
想，那是在我卸下一條槓前的最後一段日子。

(那粗大的一條槓)


我退伍的日子，你入伍的日子。
角色互換的日子，同意，或不同意，在一點點的新奇裡成為一道道的證明題。
然後，不同的時空下，解出了相同的願望。


-
糟了
，我們說，又是個相同。
-


如同懷念。
-
相見不如懷念，你常說(從幾年前開始的?)
是啊，懷念
我開始懷念，懷念去年的這時的我，在桃園留守的我
聽，盯著電視螢幕的建忠，說，"直撲台灣，正點啊，排長!"的我
-
只是瞬間，
我又感受到半夢半醒的瞬間。

-
原來，
那並不只是你的十一個月，卻也不是我的，也不是我們的。
在那個瞬間裡，十一個月的瞬間裡
-
不是我們，


所以，十一個月不是時間




不是，不是，不只是
-


報告，不是。
-



蹲在馬桶上的我，窗外並沒有你們所謂的強颱。


已經很久很久沒有絞痛的感覺，
現在的我明顯舒服了許多，但是並沒有端看，那些方才的造成絞痛原因。


因為，我還不至於那樣噁心。
-




退伍愉快，士官長。

(當兵還能跑出來吃麥當勞啦!!! 士官長果真不是幹假的!!!)

不及格小廚的小小日誌

下麵! 下麵! 我要下麵!
(請勿和某人一樣無聊取諧音->跳哥就是在說你)
水怎麼還不滾!! 好餓好餓!
> Q <
I'm hungry!! I'm STARVING!!! NOODLES!!



哨子麵:

蛋, 絞肉, 洋蔥, 番茄(醬), 香菇
還有就是蠔油囉! 在加一點我最愛的冰糖 >W<
還不錯吃!! :)
嗯, 就是有家的味道啦!!
不過,這次有點驚險, 爆香, 爆到一半, 才發現蛋還沒弄!!(爆)





紅白蘿蔔香菇排骨湯(簡稱:........排骨湯)


SUPER EASY!!! 又不用擔心味道沒有!! 好吃好吃!
可惜我的刀無法切骨頭, 所以...........
.....肉好大一塊 XD (but it doesn't matter at all)


紅燒肉....
(沒有圖)
老闆會先幫你把豬肉切好是一大利多!!!!

其實吃了不少東西, 子維的魯肉還是肉燥飯也OK,
還有咖哩飯真是好吃極了(只是白痴如我把它放在爐子上加熱
.........燒焦.......差一點讓警報響的就是我們了XDXDXD)

另外學校的SEMINAR 或者是廠商來介紹時, 也會有FREE FOOD!!
(如 PIZZA , SUBWAY...XD)
FREE!!! YA!!!!!
everybody (well, most of us )goes for FREE FOOD!!
FREE FOOD 萬歲!!
我要成為 FREE FOOD KING!!


然後是...






統一肉燥麵!!!!!

對不起, 我不是要出來嚇人的! 可是沒辦法, 超級興奮的啊!
這裡也買的到耶!! (其實這裡能夠買到的東西還不少XD)

好吃啦!!(加個蛋 更讚!!)

overwhelmed

my body is wreck; my mind is crack.

i am overwhelmed.


i miss you; i don't miss you.
the minute i feel myself is leaving you.
the next second i feel he is leaving for you.



Everytime

i make up my mind, and then i change my mind.
i change my mind so i make up my mind.

my mind, my mind, it splits into exact two
as i said it twice.


i'm losing the direction, the way, and the me.

in the recent days, these intermittent annoyance tend to be more frequent.

i hate the cycle, but fall into it inevitably.


I keep seeking for the way out while walking with eyes folded.
so i'm looking forward to the voice which may come
from the bottom of heart to guide me.

i wait and wait.

Evetually, in a sudden, i heard the voices.

not a voice.

conflict.

so i stood there, and was overwhlemed by thema.

again.


i feel the pain, which is much stronger than i could ever expect.
i feel sad


so i fold my ear, but it doesn't help - they come from the inside.


s0 i am overwhelmed.

my body is wreck; my mind is crack.......

8/31 Stone Mountain

Stone Mountain - just like its name, a huge giant stone
like a mountain, They say that it's the highest peak in
Atlanta where you can overlook the whole Atlanta city. And it's the nearst natural vacation site (probably the only) here.
i went there yesterday, climbing, sweating, and having some fun.
it's my third weekend here, and my first going out as well.


Pretty tired which, however, was not caused by the exercise, but some car-sick?
i don't know why but i feel uncomfortable so easily while driving here.
Maybe i'm still in transition.....or my body is so weak.

i felt wreck almost after every drive.

(oh...distraction from the real topic...)

anyway, i did enjoy the time both on my way to the top and on the top.
i like the wind as well as the view there - i don't know whether this is what
they called the overlook of the city because it seems to be quite a distance
between the city and where i stood, but i did see the buildings, far, but yes.

(The Atlanta City)









(<-an warmful England tourist in red helped us for taking picutures,and wanted to also be involved HAHAHA~~)


we left there before the sunset. Maybe we should wait, but well it would be
a big problem on our way back without light....
The sunrise there is said to be more amazing but it means i have to get up
at something like 4 or 5......

Maybe next time....(excuse...)

we had our dinner in a Chinese restaurant. And it was just fine. :)
i got home at 10, and exhausted.
Anyway, It's a good experience and memory.

Since you are here, you should grasp opportunities - going around, discovering,
and broadening horizon.

I'm planning to spend my winter vacations here.


Brothers: the older told the younger that he's very brave to get the top.
Falmily: The most lovely picutre on that day
Gondola: just a gondola, i want to take.
Black little boy: he is just cute

Blode Beauty: i just have no courage to ask for a photo together......damn!!!