A thing periodic

The road to isolation seems to be inevitable.
so negative that it's not supposed to appear here.

But it's here as i see it.

The awareness and realization become much clearer than ever before.
And i find myself become wreck again, and this time even some fragile.

i know, everybody has fragile moment themselves.
i know, i'll recover either completely or incompletely in couple of days,
perhaps.

it's kind of a periodic thing.
periodically and occasionaly, i feel restless in rest.
A silent anxiety spreaded and prevailed from heart to skin, and then
i felt cold, so cold that i woke up in the midnight.

i shouldn't be this place where i'm supposed to be.

So where is it?

The attempt of discovering that unknown land has been endless in that
once i thought i found it, it just became unknown in the next second.

And i got lost again.

So lost
that i skipped my afternoon class for the first time yesterday,

and i couldn't remember any possible reason.